Who I Am Hates Who I've Been
I have this happy personality and a sad soul in one body. It feels weird sometimes, but lately I will admit I have been doing my best to focus more on myself and letting go of that certain someone with love and not hate.
Not really proud of who i've been lately or how i've been acting. Then i realize this is just me learning to find myself again going through those phases of a broken heart. Which is absolutely ok.
I have this feeling of knowing im going to be 100% again, which is when im with my bestfriend April. ( my soulmate )
"I must learn to love the fool in me - the one who feels too much, talks to much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laugh and cries."
You must really force yourself to believe that things will get better, slowly and eventually.
Thoughts can really kill you. Trust me im still learning. Im getting there though and i know any of you can as well. It's possible. Truly might not feel like it right at this moment or at all. Your heart is healing and to heal a heart it takes so much time and a loving soul (you).
Hate this but "Everything happens for a reason." It is true. I mean look at you, all those other relationships that didn't work out. Aren't you happy about it years later? Questioning "What the hell was i thinking lol?" Yeah i've had a few of those *inserts laughing face*..
"Absence doesn't always make the heart grow fonder, Sometimes it just teaches us that we can live apart."
Let ME remind YOU that it is OK to cry. It is OK to feel so hurt. It is OK to feel as if nothing in this world will help. You are NOT crazy for feeling any of those things that you feel late at night when you're alone in your bed crying wondering why this had to happen to you. Why you ever deserved to be so broken by one human shoving your face into that pillow, wanting to take those pills and fall asleep to never wake up to feel this pain again, BUT are strong enough to not do that and giving life another day. ITS OK because YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You WILL grow from this, you WILL see the happiness you have been searching for when you look at yourself and see how amazing you truly are. To see your soul light up to walk out the door in the morning knowing you gave life another chance to fight for the love you need in yourself.
"I am building a house, where the floor is made up of the strength, where the walls are crafted of ambition, where the roof is a masterpiece of forgiveness. I am building myself."