I've come a long way..

Listen,

I know it must be annoying to read nothing but sad posts or to hear about me talk about my ex.
I get it, but this is me and this is how i cope with things.
Don't get me wrong, god damn i have been doing so good. SOO good.
Yes all that pain is still there and im still struggling everyday.
I learned how to block out some of those feelings, i learned how to be happy or to stop myself from crying. I also learned more how to keep things to myself and not talk about my past to anyone.
I know i am no where near perfect, im not making it seem like i was the good one and did nothing wrong and it was all my ex. No it was the both of us. I blame myself for him leaving but then i think no i was not the reason he left. He knew he could be happier with someone else and so he did. Granted there was a lot more to it and what exactly happened as to why i am so destroyed. It's okay.
I've learned that in life holding grudges won't help you move on. Accepting the fact that the love of your life is happier and better off with someone else and knowing the two of you were never meant to be is when you can feel at peace with your heart just a little, then some day be fully at peace.
They say you only fall in love three times, but is that really true? Dante was the third love of my life.
I had my middleschool crush, ( who is now in heaven & i will forever love ) i had my highschool love, which we are friends years later and look past any relationship and think we are silly for even dating back then lol. Then theres Dante, the love of my life that i never knew i could love someone so much until i met him. The amount of love, the connection and me being 100% myself with him i know i couldnt with anyone else. That's fine with me because i truly don't want that. I believe you only feel that kind of connection with one person in your life time, now i hope that im wrong. But if you only knew the connection i had felt with Dante you would completely understand to why i dont think i could ever have that again with someone else.

Anyways; i just wanted to say, ive been doing good. I stopped cutting, i stopped crying myself to sleep every night, now its only like once a week. I learned to be able to go out and only focus on myself and block out every negative sad depressing thought of him. Also, i finally got rid of that feeling of wanting to text him, wanting to see him and wanting to hear his voice. That was the hardest to overcome. I did it though, and being able to do that i KNOW that this pain will go away for good some day. I look forward to that day more than i look forward to eating a steak. lolll Thank you for reading, remember if you are struggling with a same situation. i am here to listen and just know self love is the key to being happy again.

"If love can fade, 
 then so can pain."


-krb
confused-suffering