What's really going on in your head?

You know where the best place to cry is? The shower. No one can hear you crying, no one can bother you or ask you multiple questions on why you are crying. Also you can get out of that shower from crying, wipe your tears away, drying off and walking out as if nothing ever happened, as if you're fine.. Usually when i cry in the shower, i tend to lay in the tub as the water falls on me. Sometimes i even ask god "why me?" because honestly, why me? Why is everything so hard, so confusing and just so painful? Sometimes i wish i could drown myself during the times i cry in the shower. Ever taken a bath and held yourself under water until you were literally shaking for air? yeah i have. you come up gasping for air and its like for a split second everything paused. feelings, thoughts, the pain. Because all i was focused on was holding my breath and trying to stay under for as long as i can.. Not everything is meant to sound right, you may think im crazy and you will

Listen man, i have no fucking idea what to do at this point. What is going on i know is wrong, But how can you stop yourself when you badly want that person and love that person so much already?    I know for a fact this is the person I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with, well attempting to get that far with. Isn't it crazy, to think i actually have fallen for someone else. That i was so afraid to give a chance to a year ago? I was soo blind to see that i should of chosen to be with him. I was just so scared to give up something i was use to for something that i had no idea would work out. Which i still don't.   Everyday i think about not giving him a chance, leaving him twice. When he tried to show me he could treat me better. Now here i am trying to have him when i know i can't right now for multiple reasons.   But again, i feel like im not enough for him. He has told me the pros and cons of being with me.. & it actually hurt. What's the

"You have to be enough for yourself. You have to be enough for yourself because that's all you have, yourself. People say that they will stay but they never do. Everyone leaves so at the end of the day all you have is yourself and that HAS to be good enough." "The more you hide your feelings for someone, The more you fall for them." "Don't you just hate nights like that, when you think over every mistake you've made, every hurt you've received, every bit of meanness you've dealt out? There's no profit in it, no point in it, and you need sleep." "Maybe you're a lot more wonderful, beautiful and special than you ever give yourself credit for." "The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don't wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope." &quo

she is what you crave when you are all alone. she is all you think about, even when you're with someone already. you can't stand the thought of her happy with someone else. you are confused, not knowing what to do anymore. to love her and give her that chance? Or to be scared and keep things the way they are. You don't want to hurt anyone, nor yourself. deep down you know you are hurting her. yet you pretend you are not. do you love her like she loves you? or is she just someone you use; to cancel out that emptiness you feel some nights will you decide what you want soon? do you think you will be able to let go? ask yourself this, are you able to let go and not come running back when you see her with someone else? if the answer is yes, leave now before you hurt her so bad she ends up hating you forever. if the answer is no, call her right now. Tell her exactly how you feel and please please please love her forever. love is like glass and she is b