What's really going on in your head?

i dont know what it is. right now and lately i have felt no emotion. deep down i know theres something wrong because the thought that races through my head, is ripping open my skin. but i wont. at least i hope i don't. i seem happy, then i seem sad. I actually have no idea what phase this is. Whats going to happen next. I am numb.  I haven't been eating like i use to. I try to though thats what matters. I truly hope that this phase i am going through right now is the phase right before something amazing in my life is going to happen. I really need that and ive tried my best to achieve it. Not really a blog post but just a moment of me being able to type out whats going on in my head right now. I dont even know who reads my blogs but dont repeat anything i post please.  I have this urge of wanting to throw everything out and starting fresh. even friends Moving away to another state is something i want so badly. I have this feeling that