Showing posts from December, 2017

I cut again..

I had a moment, a really bad one. Not for any specific reason. I just got so stuck in my head with sad thoughts I started to do a bad thing. But I stopped myself before it got tooo  bad. I’m not mad at myself because I know that next time I’ll be able to be stronger to not do it at all. It was just a moment. I’m human. Everyone has a bad moment. The thing I’m proud about is that when I started to do it, I slowly began to realize that whatever im sad about right now I won’t be tomorrow morning. So I stopped granted I still will have a scar, BUT I stopped and went to bed, & woke up better. Don’t. Give. Up. -ky confused-suffering

what do i want?

Honestly, for awhile i really thought i knew what i wanted. I tried so hard to keep what i wanted and just dealt with the pain of waiting for what i wanted. 7 months later, i feel like i truly dont want it anymore. All the times i felt hurt, felt sad and felt like i meant nothing to someone, finally got to me. That shouldnt be something i want? Not at all. I deserve more, right? Someone who will actually show interest, show they want me, need me, and care for me. Not just sometimes, but all the time. Excuse me if that sounds needy but what person wouldn't want that? Out of all the times i have been told i deserve so much more and sat there and was like naahh its fine its what i want. Well now i say to myself " what the fuck was i thinking ". BECAUSE I DO DESERVE BETTER. I truly wont ever ever ever settle for less. I refuse to lose myself over any human. It was never worth it. Granted, i still cry like a little bitch sometimes, but thats normal. I mean, th