Kyle Gibson Jenness
I still get emotional as if it was just yesterday you left.
I could say so many things about you i could write an entire book about how much you meant to everyone and i wish you could have known.
You always made sure everyone was okay, always put smiles on peoples faces and were ALWAYS there to run to when i was sad. You were the greatest friend anyone could have, my first love, my bestfriend you were and still are my whole world Kyle. I'll never forget the time i first met you when you came to my house with my friends & with that fro of yours lol. We then became close and always hungout especially at the bowling ally with everyone. We made SOO many memories. The times id meet up with you at the bowling ally and youd stand there as i ran to you jumping into your arms and hugging each other tightly. That special hug we always did, god how badly i wish i could have that hug just one more time.
I remember waking up on this day; 2/18/2010 having this urge to text you and tell you that i love you, but i didnt because you had someone you liked at the time and i didnt want to ruin a friendship or anything between us. I had checked myspace before i left for school and seen that you posted a status saying "im sorry" everyone commented asking whats wrong but no response. We always met up in the breakfast room and i was so excited to see you and hug you, but you werent there..
I figured you were sick or just decided to ditch. School goes by and its the last class of the day. Bell rings. I walk out of class to see my bestfriend at the time (paige) running up to me bawling her eyes out and goes "kyle killed himself, kyliah hes gone" i looked at her and said who said that shit. I didnt believe it at all. I then went up to another friend and asked her if she heard anything about that and she said no so right there i just thought it was some sick joke someone made up, until.... Untili seen danny bawling his eyes out screaming why.. My heart sank i felt so sick to my stomach i knew it was true when i seen him crying.
I blew up your phone calling it over and over hoping youd answer. I walked right out of school and sat on the sidewalk i didnt want to go on the bus i just wanted to lay there and cry. My mom had to come pick me up and all my friends stayed by my side that entire rest of the day. I didnt want to go to school anymore i didnt want to know that id never be able to see you again to hug you and knowing that i will never get the chance to ever tell you how much i really loved you. I regret never sending that text to you that morning because what if it would have changed everything? Or what if i just did more than comment on your status what if i called you to see if you were alright? i could of done so much more. Everyone could have, but we all had no idea how bad you were hurting or why you were hurting. No one knew it was going to be the last time we ever seen you. I love you so much i dont care how long its been. You will ALWAYS be my first love, my bestfriend and someone that had the biggest impact on my life. Rest easy Kyle. ill see you some day.<3
I wanted to comment some encouragement, but it's hard to find the words. I think I should just leave you with this: Death gets us all in the end. Life is a pile of good things, and a pile of bad things. Everything we do in life adds to those piles. No doubt Kyle did it because he couldn't bare the weight of his bad things. You may not have been able to take that pile off him, but in the time you had, you definitely contributed to his pile of good things. Sometimes, that's the best we can do in this unfair life. You're stronger than you think you are. You got this, girlie. Hang in there.ReplyDelete
P.S. Taco Bell just released $1.00 Nacho Fries. Just thought I'd share something positive. I'm super stoked. Chin up, queen!
i JUST seen this, but im so thankful for your comment. lolDelete
Anytime, girlie. I look forward to your future posts. (Under my Blogger account now, FYI.)ReplyDelete
P.S. Have you ever noticed that "lol" looks like a happy little man raising his arms?