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The hardest thing to understand.... suicide ;

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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-8255

I was asked to write about suicide...  The one thing no one really knows how to understand if there even is a way to understand it. 
I will start off with that I have lost a friend, someone I had loved very much to suicide 8 years ago. To this day I still cry for him wanting one last hug more than anything.  No one really knows anyones true intentions when it comes to suicide, or even know that they are thinking about it. 
What some need to understand is that, there are so many that hide what they are truly feeling because they don't want you knowing at all. Its not your fault for not noticing. It's no ones fault at all. 
I struggle being suicidal, I have attempted twice. First time I still woke up the next morning. How I don't know, maybe I didn't swallow enough with the alcohol I chugged. But I woke up. The second time, someone had reached out to my father while he was away and while I was destroying my skin wh…